Pigs in Space, Stortford and South Pickenham

I just love pigs. Don't eat them, but I know if others didn't they wouldn't be there in the first place. Their ability to churn over a seemingly rock hard field of stubble, their inquisitive accelerated amble and their apparent enjoyment at Breckland external employment; all very charming. The periodical piglet passel are a delight, banded together like a oi-n-k of teenagers, with always the toughest one ready to have a face off with my dog, until Bertie runs the other way of course.

Pigs made the headlines on the main route down south today when their one way trip was interrupted, along with the travel plans of many on the M11, for around ten hours. A couple of pigs were dispatched on scene, because of injury, whilst the other 70 odd were humanely rounded up by the RSPCA before being, er, later dispatched further down in the Essex countryside.

On the lighter side, Miss Piggy stole the One Show before Christmas.

Pigs in Space

Seasonal slippery drivers

You have to see the funny side when Swaffham's Iceland won't do home deliveries to outlying villages, like the Pickenhams, because it's too, well, icy. Another store got a Christmas rapping from a caller to the Jeremy Vine show, lunchtimes on Radio 2, who complained that Asda had informed him, several days in advance, that his home Christmas dinner delivery could not be fulfilled. A ruined Christmas was forecast. Elderly, disabled or infirm and unable to visit a store as suggested by customer services? No, a driving instructor. Surely someone well qualified to venture out on this weeks slippery roads.

Hats off for holiday humbuggery has to go to the taxi driver who abandoned his fare between Barnham Broom and Norwich. The couple were left to walk for 90 minutes until an off duty driver from Swaffham picked them up and drove them home. The icing on this Christmas cake, the couple had pushed the errant hackney cab out of the snow before he drove into the night! Surely a candidate to be visited by his very own Jacob Marley.

Festive Fun

Don't tell the kids, but Santa has cancelled his visit by sleigh to Wymondham because it 's too slippery. You couldn't make it up.

The masters of goodwill warn of parking ticket dole out on Boxing Day in Norwich.

And finally, the man convicted of running over the head of his partner in a Land Rover lost his appeal against a murder sentence of 21 years. He believed the original judge should have barred evidence of his previous violent character, including torture allegations which led to a conviction for assault, as it may sway the verdict. Well, doh.

Happy Christmas to you all!

Visit Swaffham

Can't get to Swaffham because of the snow? Take a quick tour at this BBC site with 360 degree views around the Butter Cross, which may need 10 seconds in the microwave to make it spreadable.

Trees

"I was walking in the park, admiring the old trees. Some of them were crooked. Some of them had scars, and lots and lots of wrinkles." 
"Why do we think that trees are so beautiful showing their age and what they went through & not the same with people? I just wondered." Yoko Ono Tweets 2009.

Like all the most interesting faces, trees are beautiful because they have a lived in, asymmetrical, natural appeal that any fake plastic tree can't satisfy. I am lucky enough to peruse this lovely example from my kitchen window on a daily basis.

© J Reed

Radiohead wrote a very beautiful anti surgery/natural beauty song called 'Fake Plastic Trees'. Three years previous, the anti establishment Rage Against The Machine released 'Killing in the Name' protesting, in a forceful and profane way, 'I Won't Do What You Tell Me'. With the power of instantaneous people power programs an independent social uprising overcame the marketing phenomena that is Simon Cowell, whose company is called SyCo, to beat X Factor Joe McElderry's rehash of Miley Cyrus's 'The Climb' to the Christmas No.1. The band has donated their profits to homeless charity Shelter. Usually I wouldn't care about the chart topper at Christmas but, like trees, I don't like my music squeaky clean, uniform and just a little bit fake.

Winter wonderland

Pickenham gained a new resident today, a stout fellow who has set up home on the outskirts on the way to Houghton on the Hill. Not sure if he'll stay long but he seems to fit in well with his surroundings. Today was one of life's rareties, perfection. A mix of fluffy snow, startling sunshine and breathless wind. I followed the deer around the field edges eventually wading through two foot drifts to the peaceful haven of St Mary's, just lovely.

The gritted sections of the roads towards the A47 were slushy and passable but why was Swaffham still in such a mess? It did take a couple of attempts to get back up my slightly inclined driveway, with the compressed snow now doubling as an ice hockey pitch, the roads will be tricky tomorrow.

All photos © J Reed

It's all very festive, as is the generosity of most of our neighbours in East Dereham. Some scrooge scallywags had felled the market place Christmas tree. Within the day well wishers have donated, planned and organised a replacement to be erected. Well done, truly the Christmas spirit (which probably had something to do with the evil deed in the first place).

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