Miraculous Moisture at Marham

Celebrating Cartoon Costume Clashing Capers

Simon Little, not related to Stuart, is Holt’s new police sergeant. Reporting on a brawl in the King's Head at a New Year's Eve celebration he commented:

“The victim was in fancy dress dressed as Superman with Captain America and the suspect was Shaun the Sheep, who was working in conjunction with Tigger".

NFN.

Theft is no laughing matter...

...oh, perhaps it is. Crooked couple in Cromer try to steal laughing gas for rave parties. With Kenneth Williams on the videos screens perhaps?

Normal for Norfolk? Suffolk and Lincolnshire perhaps

EDP/James Bass

In Suffolk they just throw hundreds of ducks in the river for fun, thankfully they are of the plastic variety.

Over in the Fens, however, the respect for wildlife, dead or alive, can be somewhat more unusual.

'£200 fine for man who defecated on dead hedgehog'

Headline of the year so far.

Thankfully the image is unrelated to the main story.

In Norfolk? Well, watch this space...

Normal for Norfolk, Devon visitors too it seems

Amongst a stolen broken washing machine and a man returning money he had stolen from a Ex-Serviceman's Club, Sheringham police report that someone telephoned them to say they thought Sammy The Sea Serpent, the inflatable mascot for the 2011 carnival, was 'suspicious'. A slippery suspect surely.

EDP

Serpents may well be unusual sea sightings, but the man who complained to the authorities because of crates of fish at a working harbour in Ilfracombe should be less surprised. Disgusted by the smell, the middle aged man also said the dead fish had distressed his children and that the fishermen should be more considerate of holiday makers. The man returned back to his hometown to feed his sprogs on fish fingers before the locals had a chance to lynch the Grockle.

BBC

Dandy Dancers and Insightful Interviews

Whilst international attention eyes the gladiators on Centre Court in SW19 and in the ring in Hamburg, Sheringham on the north Norfolk coast saw a dance-off between 32 morris dancing teams from around Britain. There were various styles of dress from the colourful, flower strewn, camp handkerchief waving to the more sinister looking, blackened faces resembling those seen at Sweeps festival in Kent. Excellent EDP photo story.

William Kempe morris dancing from Norwich to London

Reporting techniques in provincial newspapers can be somewhat different to sensationalist tabloid titillating  storytelling. In a not at all funny tale where several people were seriously injured in a car accident,  Rebecca Gough in the EDP filed the following stunning insight:

'One woman said she had lived in her house on the A1066 High Road, for 22 years and had not seen a crash. "I didn’t hear anything, I hadn’t heard anything about it,”'

Not happy with this revelation, the point was driven home by another fascinating interview with a couple:

'“We didn’t see or hear anything but we don’t usually get accidents along here.”'

with the man adding that, although he hadn't actually seen another accident:

'“I think the only fatality I’ve seen was a cat about three or four weeks ago which I saw at the edge of the road.”'

Regional Press Award heading to Norfolk for sure.

Norfolk a bit backward?

Some might say that Norfolk is a little behind other more cosmopolitan parts of the country and many locals might agree saying that is what they love about it.

BBC

More telling, perhaps, is a more laid back attitude to life. It's not big news that a church clock stops or even that, when it starts again, it goes backwards. But when Norwich's St Clement's Church's clock stopped and started sending Norfolk back in time no one noticed. 'Nobody knows when it happened but it is likely to have been within the last month.'

Stop Taking the Peas, Pinched Pony Poo and Phony Potato PC

Well, not strictly all NFN but typical East Anglian headline news.

After the bad news earlier this year that Bird's Eye were to stop buying from the Anglian Pea Growers, the good news this week is that the 15,000 tonnes are to be bought and processed by Ardo in Lowestoft before being packed in Kent.

'Where there's muck there's brass' goes the saying, well it's true if you steal the trailer transporting the manure too. 'Where there's poo there's a pun' is a journalist's motto, and the EDP doesn't disappoint with 'Thieves in Dersingham have dung a runner'. Classic.

Buyer beware, or caveat emptor for the educated amongst you, should be heeded especially when buying a mobile computer from a mysterious merchant coercing monies in the main marketplace. You might say the couple who forked out £650 for a laptop, from a stranger in the street, and got a sack of spuds were a little unwise. No need to have a chip on the shoulder over any police roasting. Sorry for the puns, I'll get my jacket.

Road Kill Cremation Rates

Road Kill Toys

News today that West Norfolk Council spends £18,000 a year cremating animals flattened on its roads in the name of 'public health'. 

Perhaps a better use could be 'art' or the slightly more traditional dinner plate ending as served at The RoadKill Cafe in Alabama, their slogan is 'You Kill'em and we Grill'em!'. Or you could fill the freezer like Arthur Boyt, but spare a thought for his long suffering vegetarian wife.

Hedgehog is the most plentiful, their road skills are particularly bad, but their anatomy means they are often difficult to butcher when flattened. The Peoples Trust for Endangered Species conducts annual countrywide surveys that can help you know what deceased fauna you might find and where. An excellent larder service with an easy to use identification guide.

So the North and East look like the best hedgehog hunting haunts. 
But back to West Norfolk Council, will they be picking up bear shit from the woods next?

Police Pounce on Prostitutes, Smoke Without Fire and Lotus Powered Black Cabs

No not a security sex scandal but a clamp down on a massage parlour in Wisbech where extras were thought to be doled for duplicate dosh. Apart from the paid for personal services, officials are perhaps more concerned with the associated people trafficking and working bondage (excuse the pun).  But what's the first line in the EDP report '...illegal brothel...', has Gordon slipped in a new cash raising measure I've missed? 'Slipped in', sorry I've punned again.

Dereham fire fighters put out the expression 'no smoke without fire' when the smell of smoke closed the High Street for about an hour. No fire and a professional sparks couldn't find fault, 'better safe than sorry' still applies then.

 www.tonysteelemorgan.co.uk

'Taxi, to the Olympic Stadium and don't hold the horses!'. Sports car performing Black Cabs for 2012? No, pollution free hydrogen cars for London with fuel cells from Intelligent Energy, with a base in Loughborough, fitted to cabs by Hethel based Lotus Engineering, first class NFN.

Normal For Norfolk 3

Sadly, this Holkham Gap NFN moment has disappeared with a revamp of the fencing towards Holkham Bay from the Hall's Lady Anne Drive.

But wait, we can always rely on those crazy foreigners to keep the signage laughter coming. We are laughing with them and not at them, right?

Normal for Norfolk

Insult or endearing acronymic idiom of our isolated idyll, NFN certainly doesn't sum up a whole county. Heads up then to bf1systems of Diss who, along with doing clever stuff for Formula 1 teams, now make a bespoke bicycle sold at Harrods with a price tag in the region of £25K!

Also, local employer STG Aerospace, an ever expanding Swaffham based firm, produce photoluminescent materials used to guide us to safety during aircraft electrical failure. Just goes to show there are brains in Norfolk outside the Big Canary City. But don't shout too loud, wouldn't want to start a stampede of businesses wanting talented staff who would like to live near stunning countryside like this. Shush, don't mention the stinging easterly wind or the mini icebergs in the sea!