Blackmailing Bogus Bobby Busted

Richard Humphrey/Geograph

Police are praising the persons prayed upon by a pretend policeman pursuing payoffs after improper propositions, writes the BBC. The man, Darren Witham, attempted to extort money from men he encouraged into sexual activity in public conveniences near the King's Lynn clock in the district of Gaywood. He then posed as a policeman and threatened prosecution if funds were not handed over. Officers acknowledge how embarrassing it must have been to come forward and report the incidents, treating the victims with sensitive anonymity. No comment was conjured whether the crime scene was cynically chosen. Witham was sentenced to four years in prison.

Shocking Story

Hoping the resident pigs did not escape when electric fencing was stolen earlier this week between the Pickenham and Hilborough Estates.

Roger Gilbertson/Geograph

Rural crime is hard to spot unless you know that it is the wrong people doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, or a mixture of one or more of the three.

Bird saviours and dead whale demise

Famed for loving our animals, it is sometimes odd how much attention we pay to those who are or have been in distress.

edp

But how many fire fighting vehicles does it take to free a 'distressed' gull from a tree? Three, it seems. One to assess the situation and order a table-ladder appliance and a third to 'assist' the staff of the big steps. Well I'm sure that is all very well justified.

edp

A sad end to the whiffy whale who didn't have the good fortune to be washed back out offshore to swim with Davey Jones. Instead the watery mammal has been dissected with a chain saw and sent to landfill. Police say there is no action to be taken against the youth who misguidedly tried to make a small sum from selling thieved teeth taken from the temporary tourist attraction.

Monet Missing

Masterpiece Monet missing, stolen at Suffolk seaside?

Ah, no. Technical typo about thieving tykes rather than an errant Expressionist artwork. 

Police Pounce on Prostitutes, Smoke Without Fire and Lotus Powered Black Cabs

No not a security sex scandal but a clamp down on a massage parlour in Wisbech where extras were thought to be doled for duplicate dosh. Apart from the paid for personal services, officials are perhaps more concerned with the associated people trafficking and working bondage (excuse the pun).  But what's the first line in the EDP report '...illegal brothel...', has Gordon slipped in a new cash raising measure I've missed? 'Slipped in', sorry I've punned again.

Dereham fire fighters put out the expression 'no smoke without fire' when the smell of smoke closed the High Street for about an hour. No fire and a professional sparks couldn't find fault, 'better safe than sorry' still applies then.

 www.tonysteelemorgan.co.uk

'Taxi, to the Olympic Stadium and don't hold the horses!'. Sports car performing Black Cabs for 2012? No, pollution free hydrogen cars for London with fuel cells from Intelligent Energy, with a base in Loughborough, fitted to cabs by Hethel based Lotus Engineering, first class NFN.

No peas, travel ease and not saving the trees

Bad news for East Anglian farmers as Birds Eye cancel the 30,000 tonnes of peas from the pod grown over 11,500 acres. Fortunately the cooperative had not ordered two new harvesters at £320,000 each.

Photo:James Bass

Trips into Norwich during the rush hour will ease with proposals for part time traffic lights at the Honingham roundabout. Generally light traffic is one of Norfolk's blessings, as I was contrastly reminded on a 2.5 hour each way 50 mile commute from Essex to Richmond on Thames last week.

Police efficiency is at an all time low, well energy wise anyway. Don't expect that three point penalty notice not to arrive, unless it gets recycled amongst the other 63 tonnes of paper Norfolk Constabulary gets through annually. Not to mention nearly a quarter of a million plastic cups at the water coolers!

A lot less lute

As the Norfolk Constabulary decides to cut back on the standard of their new fleet of patrol cars, a lot more loot seems to be being spent on more traditional items.

David van Edwards has been making lutes since my birth year, some 43 years ago. You can contact him to make a bespoke lute for you here, although there is a four year lead time!