Thursday, 7 January 2010

Don't mention the war!

The Second World War and toilets are British obsessions and we don't need to be hit over the head with a frying pan, a la Basil Fawlty, to insult the neighbours.

After smoothing over an international incident with the Russians yesterday, I was dismayed at the Watton & Swaffham Times headline 'D-Day looms for Swaffham's toilets'. In the past this would have remained a local indiscretion but now, with the Wonderfully Wired up World, our bodily function European meltdown fixations can be viewed around the globe instantaneously. Sorry to our German cousins, especially the more royal ones, we'll try not to mention it again (or the World Cup in '66, after all that was 44 years ago).
Serious subject locally, though. Next Wednesday sees the final meeting to decide whether or not to close the only public toilets in the bustling market town of Swaffham, as detailed in last October's EDP. After taking over the running of the facilities from Breckland Council in 2007, Swaffham Town Council spent £105,000 of the £245,000 golden handshake on refurbishments. They reopened in March 2008 with the remaining funds meant for running costs for the next 10 years. After only a year, over £23,000 has been spent repairing vandalism and paying unexpectedly high water/rates/cleaning costs. Plans are afoot to close the inconveniences to tourniquet the hemorrhaging. So, no rest stop next to the bus stop and no latrine for those soldiering on their market stalls each and every Saturday. I'm not sure that this news is any relief to those business premises being asked to take the strain, I'll surely be heading down to swanky Strattons for my ablutions should they sign up to the scheme.

As the sign says, use a WC (if you can find one). Lots more toilet humour here.

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